Ditch the Denim Jumper
by Suzanne Wielgos
 
Several years ago, I attended a homeschooling conference with a nationally-known guest speaker and author who is known for a wry sense of humor.  At the beginning of the event, she announced that she would be conducting a free raffle for an item that every homeschooling mother should own.  Every attendee wrote her name on a scrap of paper for the drawing, wondering what this item could possibly be.  

She drew a name, and as the winner made her way to the stage to receive her mystery prize, peals of hysterical laughter erupted.  For our speaker was holding aloft the unofficial uniform of homeschooling Moms nationwide: a denim jumper.

Shapeless and formless, the denim jumper works in all phases of a homeschool Mom’s life.  It hides the stains from that long-ago art project, dying muslin with beet juice.  It works before, during, and after pregnancy.  With a turtleneck, it serves the Minnesota Mom well during winter.  In a shorter version, it keeps the Florida Mom cool.  It’s almost a secret handshake among mothers who spy each other at the grocery store or the library with a handful of older children during school hours…”Yes!” she seems to signal to you from afar.  “I homeschool, too!”

As a newbie homeschooling Mom many years ago, I followed the advice of the veterans; wanting to fit in, I copied their style.  Long hair in a bun (or, for the more adventurous, a big hair clip), denim jumper, and clogs were the uniform.  I had a longer denim jumper for cold weather and a shorter one for warm weather.  I wore out several pairs of clogs and ugly (but comfortable) shoes.

And then, one day, it happened.

A homeschooling Mom joined our homeschool support group, but she looked nothing like the rest of us.  An artist, she favored brightly colored tunics and long flowing skirts.  For messy projects, she wore cool old overalls.  She was a breath of fresh air to the rest of us.  Her joyful earthiness made many of us realize that we had gotten stuck in a rut.

I began to wonder why I had wanted to feel that I fit in with the other Moms, and why we all dressed alike.  There is comfort in uniformity, especially when undertaking a task that is new and different.  But as we learned and grew as homeschooling Moms, we fell into the trap of getting our confidence from each other.  Instead, we should have maintained our individuality and sense of uniqueness.  It is what is special and different about us that makes us interesting, and brings a sense of fun to homeschooling.  How boring we must have been, back then, in our parade of blue denim.

Years later, I was in a doctor’s office, meeting a new midwife for the first time.  She looked at me quizzically.  “Do you homeschool your children, by any chance?” she asked me.  I was shocked that she could tell just by looking at me.  I was certainly not wearing a denim jumper, and thought my clothes expressed my own style.  “How did you know?” I asked her, laughing.

She pointed to my feet.

I was still wearing clogs.
Suzanne Wielgos became a homeschooling Mom in 1994.  Today, her oldest of five children is in college and her youngest is finishing 4th grade.  She coordinates her local homeschool group in the Chicago area, encouraging those new to homeschooling and providing a forum for discussion and support.