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Life Lessons
by Melanie Skelton
Life happens! Sometimes it “happens” more and sometimes it “happens”
less. Just because you decide to teach your children at home and fill
your day with really important stuff, doesn’t mean that life stops
“happening”. But how do you deal with life and keep homeschooling when
it does “happen”?
Learning to deal with life’s lessons is one of the most important things
you can teach your children.
They see how you respond to stressful situations and learn to deal
similarly to the stresses they will be confronted with in their lives.
The most telling moments are when you see your children react in the
exact way you have reacted yourself. I sometimes cringe at those
moments.
...read more
When the car breaks down, health problems strike or other calamities occur, a
door opens with an invitation for new learning opportunities.
Think about it. If the emergency brake on your car freezes and won’t release,
is there anything to learn? I learned to be careful about using the emergency
brake in extremely cold weather and a few other lessons that don’t matter
here. But let me tell you what my children learned from it. First, we
approached the spiritual lesson. We thought the brake needed to thaw; only it
was expected to get colder and snow. When the sun came out I gathered my
children and we talked about faith and prayer, and how God works in mysterious
ways. Second, we talked about what had happened with the brake. We searched
for any ice around the tire and underneath the car that might be contributing
to the problem and chipped it away, hoping the sun would do the rest. I know
very little about cars, but together we learned what we could about the brake
system and made some interesting discoveries. In the end it wasn’t frozen and
we had to call somebody who knew more than we did to release the brake, also a
valuable lesson. We learned all this and managed to get the car home all
while Dad was on a business trip to Canada.
Oh! That brings up another life lesson. Sometimes dads (or moms) have to
travel. Whether dads travel for a few days for work or leave for months on
military duty there are lessons. The most obvious thing to do at a time like
this is to pull out a map and learn everything you can about the place Dad is
going. You can check flight schedules on the internet and follow Dad across
the U.S. or the world. There is nothing that makes geography more exciting
than having it be a little personal.
What about health problems? Two of my friend’s four children were born with
heart problems that required surgery while they fairly young. Through this
process, she and her four children studied in detail the parts of the heart
and dug for details about how the heart functions. They did all they could to
understand the problem and the surgeries that would take place. Learning
Latin roots helped them to better understand the terms the doctors used as
they discussed the condition. They learned medical terms and were able to ask
more effective questions, which helped them to better understand what to
expect in the procedure and recovery. She could have learned all this, and
never involved her children in the process. But if you have to deal with the
stress of such a situation, why not claim all the learning you can from it?
Each of us will face unique situations in our lives. We will be confronted
with challenges that will vary from the challenges of those around us.
Whether sickness or death, car problems or a remodeling project many of the
situations in our lives present an opportunity for learning to be alive. We
all learn better when it matters. And if Dad is stationed in Iraq on military
duty, there are a lot of things that matter.
So the next time you are faced with a stressful situation, look for the
lesson. Don’t let it get in the way of homeschooling. Creating learning
opportunities out of these challenges “is” homeschooling.
Melanie Skelton has educated her six children at home for eight
years. She is the co-founder of Utah Families Teaching at
Home and assists in teaching workshops to empower and help home
educators. She is the web designer for the website, found at
http:
http://www.utahfamilies.net/ and is in the process of
co-authoring a book about home education. This book will
help home educators better understand learning styles, personality
styles and levels of learning. It will teach the reader how
to apply this information to their home school and plan out a
curriculum that will meet the needs of their children.
[ hide article ]
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Bilingual Beats Lead to Language, Literacy
and Math Fun
by Beth Butler
Never has it been this easy to find materials to bring education into
your home as a stay at home mom, a grandparent given the distinct and
honorable task of watching your grandchildren or as a homeschooling
parent striving to do the best you can do. The internet has provided us
the means to seek and download countless varieties of educational
materials along with the medium to research other instructional products
for purchasing.
As a mom of three children who each possess bilingual skills at varying
degrees along with an educator of thousands of children ages 6 months
through ten years, I feel the sense of urgency to quicken the pace of
the learning. What better way to do that than with music? Research has
shown that if you take a concept, add a little music, some rhythm and
movement, you will have a sure fire way of introducing and engaging the
young child to long term retention of that concept. ...read more
Think back to your younger years. Do you still have that
one song that sticks in your head no matter how many years go by? That one that
taught you your days of the week in French, or how to multiply by two, or simply
the catchy ABC song we now share with our own children? This concept of using
music to enhance learning situations is nothing new and is one we should embrace
as we go back to the basics of early childhood learning experiences.
There is the cry to return to the nursery rhymes of long
ago. To drop the Leap Pad and the computer games and simply share your lap with
a child who will listen to and real along with those rhyming gems of long ago. A
strong connection between learning and rhythm was discovered and built upon
years ago, and now we can bring global learning to our children through this
same theory.
Take a song, best if it is one you and your child both know
the melody of, make up some new words that introduce the new language right next
to your native language. This type of made up song is called a Piggyback Song.
Need an example? Okay, here is a simple one. Take the tune Mary Had a Little
Lamb and sing about shapes by injecting words like these:
A circle is rolling by, rolling by, rolling by,
A circle is rolling by, a circle is a circulo.
A circle is a circulo, a circulo, a circulo,
A circle is a circulo. I know my shapes.
It is so easy to then bring in the words for square,
rectangle, triangle, heart and so on. In this example, we did English and
Spanish. Use your imagination and use any new target language you would like to
introduce right along with the native language of your children.
Learning a second language has never been so easy! A child
learning this way, in what is called a bilingual format where his native
language is sung right alongside his native language, will actually read sooner
than monolingual children who are not receiving this type of musical, bilingual
instruction according to Dr. Ellen Bialystok and her team of experts at York
University. The study conducted by this team also showed that children receiving
instruction in two languages will experience advanced cognitive development and
problem solving skills and higher test scores on certain sections of
standardized tests.
As a mom and as a teacher that is important to me as I know
it is to you. Not only can we prepare our young children for a very global
economy, one that will require the command of more than one language in order to
excel, we can also provide them a fun and engaging manner in which to gain
knowledge in a second language, skills in math and the ability to read early in
life.
You cannot carry a tune? You have not even the slightest inclination as to where
to start? You have not one creative bone in your body to begin writing your own
Piggyback Song that might introduce French to your newborn? No worries amigas,
amigos, friends. Remember the internet? Remember those search engines? They will
help drive you to a plethora of web sites meant solely for giving you some
affordable, sometimes free and most often very practical tools and tips on how
to jump start your motivation and creation of these bilingual songs.
Feel the beat! Think creatively! Have fun, and before you
know if you and Junior will be on a journey where the only required things in
your backpack will be water to quench your thirst after all of your singing and
some musical shakers to keep the beat as you sing, dance and play your way to a
second language.
About the
Author: Beth Butler is the founder of the BOCA BETH Program - a fun and easy way
to introduce Spanish to your children. Scoop them up on your lap and sample the
BOCA BETH bilingual music and movies for free at
http://www.bocabeth.com Then order online with your 'herd' discount code
for 30% off any CD or DVD. Call toll free at 1.877.825.2622
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No Child Left Inside
by Seth Prezant
A conversation took place between me and my eight
year old son recently. Thanks to my stenographer I am able to report the
incident word by word:
Me: You know Sam, I think it is time to move on,
you know, go find yourself.
Sam: Dad, you don’t make sense.
Me: Don’t you want to explore the world and
discover new things?
Sam: Not really. ...read more
Me: Well, I think it’s time you leave.
Sam: Leave where?
Me: Anywhere…outside.
Sam: Nah, I feel like staying inside.
Me: You don’t have a choice. I am kicking you out of the house.
Sam: What!? I’m just a kid.
Me: Exactly.
Yes, I did. I kicked my eight-year-old out of the
house…well, for the afternoon.
In 2004, a University of Illinois study found that children
with ADHD experience “significant symptom abatement” after the children spend
time outdoors. In 2005, a study conducted by the California Department of
Education showed students improving Science test scores by 27 percent after
taking week-long classes outdoors. And in 2006 Connecticut launched a state
initiative to get kids outdoors and in the state parks. In fact, the US Forrest
Service funds dozens of programs designed to get kids off the couch and
outdoors!
Studies after study are being conducted to show what our
parents and grandparents have known for ages. Being outdoors is good, very good.
And not just for us parents. Some children with allergies and asthma actually
breathe better outdoors than inside. Over- active children seem more relaxed and
less agitated when outdoors – I have witnessed this first hand on many
occasions. And when I recently asked friends and colleagues to describe the
activities they are most relaxed doing, their responses were no surprise:
Golfing, fishing, jogging, gardening, hiking, swimming, and walking.
Yet, most of us and our children spend most of the time
watching television, chatting online, or playing video games inside.
A case could be made by my son that I just wanted him out of the house because I
need peace and quiet, because I want uninterrupted time to talk with my wife
about the past week’s events, or because I need time to finish writing an
overdue article. But the research is in - and it all points to the overwhelming
health, behavior, and mental benefits of being outdoors.
Our system has been so absorbed with “no child left behind”
that they failed to see that “no child should be left inside”. Many school
districts are even doing away with classroom pets. No fish, red-ear sliders, or
birds. No hermit crabs, hamsters, or snakes. Not even ladybugs. Ladybugs!! Why
do we home-school our kids again?
Maybe the policy-makers and administrators need to get
outside too. We are so connected to our cell phones, computers, and electronics
that we have become disconnected with the great outdoors and all she has to
offer. It’s time we switch things around, pull the plug, and disconnect from the
indoors. No parent and definitely no child should be left inside!
I could go on and on but I too need to disconnect, get some
fresh air, and make sure my son hasn’t left to join the circus.
Seth Prezant is the founder and Bugmaster of
www.CoolBugStuff.com
.
His award winning web site was created to help promote fascination and education
in science using nature’s most abundant creatures…Bugs! Seth is a true EEE
(Education & Entertainment Entrepreneur) providing educational and entertaining
nature shows for schools, camps, aftercare programs and home school groups all
around South Florida. The Bugmaster can be reached @
seth@coolbugstuff.com
You can find many more easy parent/child projects to do together on Seth's
website
www.coolbugstuff.com.
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Home-Education on the Run: Learning on the
road
by
John Bizelli
For most of us, traveling by car will not be the method of choice during
the cold month of February, so be sure to keep this article handy for
the spring thaw.
No
matter if you are taking a short drive to a cruise port, an airport, a
train station, or maybe even a week long road-trip; driving is usually a
necessary component of all travel. This month we will be exploring
education possibilities in the week long mega road-trip, also known as
traveling by car from point A to point B with several stops along the
way. Keep in mind that any one component we will be exploring can be
used alone for a short two hour drive to the cruise port. ...read more
First, pick a theme and a destination. If destination is first, plan
your theme around it. If your theme is first, pick a destination that
will be the grand finale of the theme. For example if you are headed to
Florida you may want to take advantage (as a theme) of the many marine
biology experiences along the coast. Maybe even throw in some history by
putting yourselves in the drivers seat of the settlers; creating
learning adventures along the way as you explore why people moved South,
what enabled them to do so, the roads, transportation, climate, natural
resources, etc.. Your imagination is the limit.
Planning
is THE most important element of any road-trip in which you hope to produce a
fun educational experience. THE most important part of any plan is a map. A good
map will show you where to begin (point A), where you want to arrive (point B),
and everything in-between. Although you could struggle through pre-printed paper
maps, something interactive will help you to produce a much better plan. Yahoo
and Google mapping will do for free, but a small investment in Microsoft Streets
and Trips will help to create the best experience every time. It quickly
displays the best route. Then you can decide if you want to show gas stations,
restaurants, hotels, camp grounds, parks, points of interest, or about twenty
other topics along the way. You can also create your own clickable push-pins to
enter your own data. New in March we will be adding the many road trip resources
to our web-page “Travel Tools”.
Now that
you have a destination, a theme, a general time-line, and a birds-eye view of
your journey; mark your path of travel about every 3-4 hours of road time (I
like to use those electronic push-pins for this). Three hour segments are
recommended, four hours of non stop road time should be the max. It is at these
intervals in which you will be plugging in elements of your theme. If you find
yourself struggling for ideas at a certain location, go to that town’s (or
surrounding) actual website. I think you will be amazed at the treasures in each
one that may fit your needs.
Relative
to making those 3-4 hours segments in the car more exciting, let’s pretend we
are going to Disney. Say we live in the Midwest. Keep in mind the best rolling
classroom you can have is equipped with a DVD player, CD player, plenty of room,
and headphones for each child. If your vehicle has none of these, consider a
rental in your budget; it’s that important. In this case Disney will be the
destination and the theme. Gather all of the material you can find on the
history of Walt Disney, Mickey Mouse, cartooning, or maybe even Guinness Book
records on amusement park rides. Pack books, audio, video, and interactive
items. Ask questions. Draw out pieces of the journey that will appeal to your
child’s interest (history, art, environment, engineering, etc...)
Don’t
forget the brain breaks… also known as the road games. Digital photo scavenger
hunts while driving having always worked for us. Google “games to play on
road-trips” and pick something from the 2,000,000 results that will suit your
family best. Remember to plan the road-trip home with an extra amount of leisure
learning (Arts, crafts, games) Our kids usually take up two 3 hour blocks on the
trip home by simply scrap-booking the photos we took throughout our journey,
while listening to music. We have a digital camera so we are able to send our
photos to a Walgreens Store before we leave the hotel. On our route home we pick
them up.
If you remember only 3 things
from this article please let it be Planning, Planning, and Planning. See you
next month. To view past segments of this
series visit the
Home Educators Classroom
John Bizelli is a Geospatial Information Systems Analyst and a
home-educating father of 3 teens. So it was only fitting that he and his wife
Pamela would start a travel company with an emphasis on education. Visit
www.MyGetawayPlan.com
and click on
“Education Travel” to find out more about accredited education
programs at sea such as “The Scholar-Ship”, an academic program
hosting both undergraduate and postgraduate students on
semester-long voyages around the world. Also if you’re a Doctor, Nurse, Lawyer,
or Dentist you will want to find out about our CMEs - Continuing Education
Accreditation while traveling.
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Planning Your Overnight Bike Route
by
Becky Douglas
This is the sixth in a
series of articles about youth bicycle travel. The articles cover all
aspects of developing and executing a bike trip for kids, and are based
on Adventure Cycling Association's
Pedal Pioneers Guide,
a detailed handbook for bicycle travel with kids.
Choosing a good route
for you and your child’s overnight bicycle adventure is key to ensuring
a fun, safe and educational bike trip. There is a cornucopia of roads
and trails throughout the United States which are great for travel by
bicycle, varying in access and abundance regionally. The level of
support, type of equipment, cycling technique and proficiency necessary
vary with different trail surfaces. For example, a single-track mountain
bike tour in Colorado requires different equipment, preparation, and
skills than a tour on the paved county roads of Illinois. Be very
careful not to overestimate your child’s physical and mental
proficiencies when choosing which way you will travel. .
...read more
You
should balance the nature of the route you are considering with the skills and
aspirations of your child. The younger or less experienced your child is, the
more important it is to find routes that are non-motorized or lightly traveled
by cars. The miles between services should be kept at a manageable distance and
make sure that water and other important services are available throughout the
day. The way that you choose to travel - self-contained or supported - will
influence your need to maintain access to resources. Seriously consider riding
the route yourself prior to bringing your child - or take a well-researched
bicycling route such as those offered by the Adventure Cycling
Association, or one taken with a tour company that maps out the
route.
After
you and your child have dreamed up the basic details of the tour, you need to
choose a specific route. Consider:
1. Route shape, including a loop, out and back, or point-to-point tour, each of
which may involve a start and/or return shuttle
2. Availability of overnight locations (this gets more challenging as group size
increases)
3. Route quality, including safety, rider’s skill level, scenery, and services
4. Topography because big elevation gains and/or high elevations may mean that
it is best to ride fewer miles that day.
Planning a suitable route is crucial to ensuring your child has a safe, positive
experience. There are many route options closed to motor vehicles, such as
rail-trails and river paths. Some well-known examples include the
Burke-Gillman Trail in Seattle, the
Prairie Path in suburban Chicago, and the
Katy Trail in Missouri. The
Rails to Trails Conservancy catalogs most such trails in the US. The Katy
Trail runs for 225 miles across nearly the entire state of Missouri. The trail
follows Lewis and Clark’s route 150 miles, with numerous historic sites.
For
shorter trips, greater detail is often necessary at the onset of route planning,
while for a multi-week trip, some flexibility in a route is helpful. For each
day, consider:
•
Start and finish locations
• Mileage
• Elevation change/terrain
• Road characteristics
o Surface
o Traffic volumes
o Shoulder width
• Name,
location, and contact information for overnight accommodations
• Services (needs vary greatly on the type of tour)
o Grocery store
o Water stops
o Laundry facilities
o Bike shops
o Universities
• Activities
o Museums
o Hikes
o Parks
o Community service
• Emergency contacts
•
Cumulative wear on the riders, especially on longer trips. Did you just bike
twelve mountain passes, and need a few easier days to recover?
A
bicycle trip with your child will more like be about the quality of miles, not
the quantity. Daily and total mileages can vary greatly, depending on your
child's age, fitness, goals, terrain, and the style of touring you choose. Get a
sense of your child's abilities during pre-trip rides, and you need to continue
to gauge their capabilities throughout the trip.
In
addition to lowering miles for bicycle travel with your child, you will also
generally lower mileage even more for self-supported tours. On a longer tour,
the distance your child can comfortably cover in one day will increase over
time, and maintaining flexibility for this variability is important. In
considering total mileage, remember to factor in layover days, off-the-bike
activities, and travel to and from the tour. We recommend at least one day a
week of no bicycle travel. This can be a pure rest and relaxation day, combined
with a hike or other adventure, or it can be used for errands and tasks, like
laundry. Have something planned for the rest day, but keep it flexible to
accommodate your child's needs. Your child may want quiet relaxation, or may be
looking for some off-the-bike adventure. Whatever you choose to do, make sure
you plan enough to keep your child busy. Down time around camp is when children
often get hurt.
Map
Types
•
Standard state road maps - free, and good for planning your overall trip and
showing major towns and roads
• Regional/county road maps - show detailed routes and areas of local interest
• Topographic maps - helpful for learning topography, but can be big and bulky
to carry
• Special bike maps - can be very detailed
• General bike routes - found in ride books or brochures
“Micro
maps” are detailed bike maps like the ones that Adventure Cycling Association
produces. They have mile-by-mile route details with high resolution, and they’re
the ones you want to carry in your map case or keep at hand. It is also great to
bring along a state map or national map. This helps to put your route in
perspective. The
National Bicycle Route Network is a collection of over 37,210 miles of
bicycle touring routes in the United States and Canada.
There are many resources available to show you cyclist-friendly routes.
Governments and private mapping companies have mapped out cycling routes in
their regions and created either bicycle maps or standard maps with bicycle
routes on them. There are hundreds of books that explore all kinds of bicycling
travel. Many tour books describe individual routes that include directions,
mileage, difficulty, basic maps, and services along the way. It is a good idea
to consult with a club or shop in the region in which you are planning on
cycling because many have found local routes that they find safe and enjoyable.
Maps, clubs, tour books, and DOT state coordinators are listed in
The Cyclists’ Yellow Pages.
Practice reading these maps with your child. Have them identify as many things
as they can that will help them find their route. Teach them how to read
topographic lines and have them figure out elevation gains and losses. You can
even have them figure out average road grades on detailed maps.
Planning your route is a very exciting process and your child will have the
opportunity to learn more about maps, geography, and how to create a successful
adventure for themselves.
Throughout this series of articles, we will be referring to the vast cycling
resources that already exist in North America. The articles should be
supplemented with other resources that address bicycle safety, camping skills,
and group dynamics if you are traveling with several kids. Happy bicycle
travels!
Becky
Douglas is the Outreach and Education Coordinator at
Adventure Cycling Association. Thanks to Kerry Irons for his help in writing
this article. The mission of Adventure Cycling Association is to inspire people
of all ages to travel by bicycle. They help cyclists explore the landscapes and
history of America for fun, fitness, and self-discovery. Becky is the
administrator of the
Pedal Pioneers Program, which aims to inspire and empower adults who are
taking kids on overnight bicycle adventures. She is also the author of
Pedal Pioneers: A Guide to Bicycle Travel with Kids and can be reached at
outreach@adventurecycling.org.
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How to Lessen Test Anxiety
by
Jean Burk
Many students are not
“good test-takers”. This is usually because they don’t understand the
test or how to take it. Taking the SAT and PSAT/NMSQT tests can be a
very stressful experience, but preparation and knowledge can alleviate
the test anxiety that many students face. Here are some important steps
to help aid the test-taking fear that seems to loom over students:
...read more
1. Know the rules for each section ahead of time. he rules
for each section of these tests always stay the same so learn them
long before the real SAT and PSAT/NMSQT. This not only saves time, but students
will know what to expect in each section.
2. Create a similar test environment. Many students don’t
realize that these tests are very long and require mental endurance to finish
them without running out of steam. The SAT itself is around 3 ˝ hours long. One
way to prepare for this academic marathon is to practice just like the real
test. By creating a test environment like the real test, this can eliminate any
surprises and help with test success.
Practice like this:
1. Start the practice test around 9:00 am.
2. Take only a five minute break in-between sections.
3. Use the same watch and calculator that will be used at the real test.
4. Make sure the testing area is free of distractions.
5. Time each section correctly.
6. Use a watch with a chronometer or set a second-hand watch at 12:00 for each
section.
7. Keep several sharpened pencils nearby.
3. PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
The key to doing just about everything well is to practice. Someone who plays a
sport or learn an instrument cannot expect to win a game or perform their best
concert without practicing. The same applies with these standardized tests.
After learning the test-taking strategies, students should practice with actual
College Board practice tests. The more they do this, the quicker they can find
the recurring patterns and the faster they can answer the questions. The
students, who usually score the highest, have made practicing a priority; they
have put at least three to fours hours a week into practicing, over the entire
year, and a few months leading up to the real test, they have treated it like a
marathon.
4. Take PSAT/NMSQT for practice in both freshman and
sophomore years.
The score will not count but it will help familiarize students with the test and
they will get their test booklet back in the mail. It usually arrives in the
spring after the October test. The test score arrives later. When you receive
it, go over your mistakes and find the patterns that were missed. Students can
also use the booklet to retake the test later and see how much they’ve improved.
(Retaking it can be beneficial since most students forget the questions.)
5. Take the PSAT/NMSQT in your junior year when it counts.
Many guidance counselors and teachers have mistakenly told their students that
this test is not a big deal and should only be used for measurement on how well
they might do on the SAT test. This one test can give students amazing
scholarship offers from colleges all over the nation. If a student scores in the
semi-finalist range, they can literally get a full ride to numerous colleges
because they are in the top 1% of the nation. This test only counts in their
junior year or the third year they take it.
6. Take the SAT many times.
There are no penalties for taking the SAT many times, so students should take it
until they get their desired score. Colleges do not average the tests but take
the highest scores. Many colleges will even take the highest score from each
section from different tests to get the student’s best overall score. Every
college is different when it comes to their desired entrance score as well as
entry level for starting scholarships, so make sure you check with the college(s)
of your choice.
7. Test Day Success
The day of the test can be a successful experience with some keys preparation
tips.
1. Avoid any SAT work the day before.
2. Wake up early-eat a light breakfast.
3. Have the
correct driving directions and leave early
4. Take the appropriate items to the test.
a. registration ticket
b. several sharpened pencils
c. same calculator & watch used in practiced
d. dress in layers (rooms are often cold)
e. bring a snack-earplugs if easily distracted
Test-taking fear can stop students in their tracks. Stress
can also hinder a student’s performance because of the undo pressure on them.
But preparation long before the actual test is the key to lessening the anxiety
that students face. They can not only become a “good test-taker” but also get
the “good” scores.
For more
information visit
www.collegeprepgenius.com or contact Jean Burk at
info@collegeprepgenius.com Also sign-up for our free No Brainer
Scholarship Newsletter.
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The Fun of Teaching Kids to Focus on
Complete Tasks
by Diane Spoehr
Don’t you just love to wash the dishes, haul the
garbage can to the curb at six a.m., and take the dog out just before
bedtime? Could anything be more enjoyable than doing laundry on a sunny
Saturday morning when your bike is calling to you from the corner?
But you nod to the bike, and keep on going with
that laundry, because someone instilled in you a sense of
responsibility, and how to keep a household on track. Now it’s your turn
to pass on that valuable knowledge to your children.
Will they be self-sufficient, or will they grow up
and move in with a friend, hoping that the other person is going to do
the chores? Trust me; the other person won’t have a clue!
...read more
Hopefully our kids will be successful and able to hire a
maid if they like, but meanwhile we don’t have time to be the housemaid, nor is
that our job. The most difficult task we face is teaching our children the
little lessons of life; how to finish what they start, meeting deadlines,
accepting responsibilities. We all must work in the world, so don’t shield your
children from work. They may be moaning and groaning, but if you let them skate
away from their jobs, you are not doing them any favors in the long run.
Another Mom once told me the most common mistake parents
make is to underestimate their children’s abilities. Some kids at six years old
cannot tie their own shoes; some can do it at three. One way to ensure chores
are age appropriate is to teach children how you want the job done, then watch
to see if your child can handle it easily; then give him more advanced chores.
You may be quite pleasantly surprised by how much they can do.
Kids need responsibilities; when time is short of course we
help them, but then they must help us or their siblings. Children forget that
life is give and take, and working together is part of life. Helping each other
means everyone can get finished and go play.
In real life we always have jobs we don’t like, some things
that are just not the favorite. (I know you really do love hauling out the
trash.) My kids used to hate helping me weed the garden, but I made them do it
anyway. At least they now know what it takes to grow food, and can tell a weed
from a tomato! They may complain, but when you teach your kids to be cheerful no
matter what they are doing, you are giving them the gift of joy in their lives.
This will bring them smiles long after you are out of the picture, even if the
smiles are at the thought of the tomatoes they uprooted!
How can you be cheerful even if you are rushed and this is
truly a “chore”? Try varying the order of work, or find a new way to do it.
Routine is wearing, and even small changes can give relief. Allow children to
perform certain chores as they wish. They can make whatever lunch they want,
within your guidelines. In their own room they could dust as they please, not
moving anything, just going around each object (they already do this, right?).
Kids could rearrange items in their room, or decide how to go about cleaning
it. The biggest chore should be first, while they have a lot of energy, and
smaller jobs are not so hard when one is getting tired. But if kids pick a
different big job, so what; letting them choose gives children the privilege of
being in charge to go along with the responsibility of having to do the work.
These choices make work varied and take away some of the drudgery.
While doing chores with your child, talk about what you’re
doing, and why it’s done this way. Ask kids if they know a better way to do it,
so next week the job will go faster. How would they rearrange items in the
drawer so they can find what they need quickly when they get ready for lessons?
How can they arrange their clothes so that they are easier to put away? Give it
a try; if their idea doesn’t work they can come up with a better way next time.
If you think your child cannot focus long enough to stick
with a chore, then hand her a Game Boy and watch the clock. It is the rare child
who cannot play for at least ten minutes, and most will go for as long as they
are allowed.
Take a look at the world around our kids and you will see
that much of a child’s world is chopped into short snippets of time. Commercials
on radio and TV are commonly 15 seconds, where they used to be one minute.
Computer games are quick, speed is often more important than content. Some
elementary schools have kids in different classrooms for each lesson; where
formerly there was one teacher all day, now many children have different
teachers every 45 minutes. A home-schooled child may have a better chance to
concentrate on one subject for a longer time.
Children need us to teach them to complete the job at hand,
and keep their attention in the present moment. Yes, they must learn to look
ahead to the consequences of their actions, but nowadays kids have so many
activities they barely have time to stop and see what’s right in front of them.
While we teach our children to zone in on what is happening now, we are also
doing a bit of de-stressing ourselves.
Maybe a reason so many kids are into computer games is that
they can lose themselves in the game. It is its own little world, just as a
book or a board game is, as school subjects can be. Kids can be taught to focus
as completely on a chore or assignment as they do on the Game Boy.
How do we teach children to finish the chores they begin,
to stay and complete the job? If the kids don’t finish, send them back. If it
takes an entire Saturday for a child to clean her room, so be it. It is hard on
parents to make the child go back to the bedroom the tenth time, and kids are
great at messing around, doing nothing, laying on the floor staring at the
ceiling bemoaning the fact they must pick up two articles of clothing. But are
you going to teach them to do this today, or are you going to have this same
battle until they grow up and leave home? Or worse, will you just give up and
clean their room for them, thereby teaching them to complain louder next time so
you will do their work sooner?
Consistency in parenting was one of the most difficult
aspects I had to learn when my kids were small. It is no easy task to listen all
day to a moaning child! But if they are whining about being given one job, then
give them another. I told my kids they must not have learned how to be cheerful
about tasks, and obviously needed more practice. One child learned that lesson
in about two weeks, and the other one took six years! Yes, each child is
different! I am glad that they learned how to clean their rooms, though. Then
they went to college…oh dear!
Diane Spoehr is a 3rd Dan Degree Black Sash in the
ancient Korean Martial and Healing Art of Hwa Rang DoŽ, with 10 years of
experience teaching children and adults of all ages. She has taught many
children and their parents how to develop self-discipline, demonstrate courtesy,
and achieve their goals. Diane Spoehr is the Head Instructor and Owner of the
Hwa Rang Do School of Jacksonville, located in Mandarin and Julington Creek.
Website:
www.hwarangdofl.com
Email:
hrdjax@bellsouth.net
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Parenting Teens
by
Maria Wojtczak
The privilege to drive is much more
difficult to earn in Europe than here in the United States. In order for
individuals to receive their license they are required to spend
thousands of dollars on driving instruction and their driving test is
very difficult. People that have visited us from Europe tell us that it
is rare to pass the test the first time. The DSA (the people who set the
driving tests) suggest the average learner needs 40 hours driving
instruction before becoming a safe driver. They also state
that learning to drive is one of the hardest things you will learn in
your life - but once mastered, will
become as natural as walking.
...read more
Americans can
learn something from this philosophy. We take the privilege of driving
for granted. We don't take the time to properly train our young drivers
and we're paying a very high price - the lives of our young people.
A quote from Driving Dynamics:
"The best safety device you can install in a car is a trained
driver. "
Maria
Wojtczak is the owner of DrivingMBA and is responsible for marketing and the
operation of the organization. DrivingMBA is a unique driver tutoring program
geared towards better preparing teenagers for the responsibility of driving. To
learn more about DrivingMBA visit the web-site
www.drivingmba.com. Before Maria and her husband Richard, opened Driving
MBA Maria worked as a consultant for over 20 years in the field of organization
development working with a wide range of organizations. In addition to the use
of traditional organization development techniques, she is highly skilled in
large systems change and organization learning, with formal training in both
specialties. She has extensive experience in the field of adult learning
concepts, and in the design and facilitation of adult learning experiences.
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